There I've said it.. and the world hasn't fallen in on me.
Except that being bossy backfired on me more times than enough in my twenties and thirties and so I started moving in the opposite direction... not being bossy.
Which was fine except I began to realise that in some company, I seemed to come out all wimpish.
Are you the one who's the centre of attention or hovering on the edge of the group?
Recently I went to our local theatre, amateur companies only, to watch a performance of Round and Round the Garden, one of Alan Ayckbourn's Norman Conquest Trilogy. In that is a very bossy woman who tries to organise everyone else. She fails of course because most of us resist being organised, even if secretly we'd like someone to take charge of all the things we hate to do.
So what is leadership anyway?
My trusty dictionary tells me that a leader is:
- a person who leads, commands or precedes a group, organisation or country
Being out in front means high visibility, commanding has too many nuances of being bossy, but maybe precedes might work.
When I look at the verb what I find is much more to my liking:
- cause a person to go with one by drawing them along
- show a person the way by preceding or accompanying them
Recently I went to a TEDx on family and community and a young woman talked about leading by serving others.
Then I found a definition that said a leader was someone who had the courage to go first. Unlike the character in Gilbert and Sullivan The Gondoliers who led always from the rear.
How cand you and I be leaders next year?
During the Writing From Your Heart Online Gathering, I received some wonderful feedback. Much of it focused on the same points.
How the writer appreciated the practical nature of the interviews and how touched they were by the courage I was showing by being vulnerable.
Was it deliberate on my part? To a certain extent it was... because I knew that if I wasn't authentic then I might as well not bother to host the event. I am as I am, with all my insecurities and hang ups. And my talents and strengths.
All of which I have to admit to.
What does 2013 hold for us?
Let's face it. We have no real idea. We make plans, we vision, we dream, we hope. But we have no real idea what will turn up from one moment to the next.
Whether positive or not, we will be surprised by the year. We'll take some decisions with clear sight and others more hoping for a good outcome.
What I'm challenging myself on for 2013 is becoming the leader I need to be. And I think it's important because I have a role to play in the greater scheme of things.
Whatever the size of my dreams, whatever scope I'm envisaging, I will have to take the steps out in front... before I can expect anyone to follow me. Whether it's to be part of my community or as a helper to create that community.
So how about you?
What will you be the leader for in the next year?
I'd love to hear about your visions and your thoughts about leadership.
Let me know and if you're not already signed up for my Monthly Enfolding join our community