For the past two months I've been taking this roller coaster ride. Not at a funfair, though it has been fun, at least some of the time.
In October I'm hosting an online event, called Writing From Your Heart.
It's a five week event, where each week I'll interview 3 speakers on different topics about writing particularly books, and what can happen as a result.
Terrifying. Exhilerating. Unexpected.
Each stage has offered a different challenge, especially the technology aspects because that's not been up till now a strong point. Given half a chance I'd revert back to the pencil and paper.
Can't ignore the technology any more and you know what, the more I do the more friendly the tools seem. Already half way into the process of making it happen, I've reaped so many benefits.
Who'd have thought that when I started I would link up to someone born in Nottingham, where I live, who now resides in California, that I'd listen to her online event, be inspired to approach two of her speakers, for them to say yes, for me to ask her to interview me for later broadcast and for us to enjoy a conversation last week that brought out even more similarities.
That sentence was breathless but it's how I feel many days. Breathless because I'm scared of some of what I'm doing and breathless because I can't believe what's happening.
Many of the participants in the Olympics when interviewed say things on the lines of, 'it's unbelievable, unreal.'
That's how I feel about what's happening to me and heaven knows I'm not experiencing the trials and challenges they've faced.
It took some courage for me to start but as Joseph Campbell talks about, you're supported by a thousand invisible hands waiting to help you'.
And so I have.
Many of my big challenges, technology wise are ahead of me. But I'm putting together a team of supporters and helpers from all round the country.
My speakers are global and so will my audience be.
What I love most is the idea of the connection. When I feel down about what I'm doing and how little effect I can have, I imagine a picture of the world with a single light where I am. Then I imagine lights all over the world, at first only a few then creating more and more till the connections become stronger between them.
I'm holding faith in my online event. Each day I flood it with loving energy and ask for the best possible outcome for all concerned.
It still frightens me though but as long as I can see enough light to take the next step then I'll be fine.
It's my birthday today and I can't wait to see what happens in the next 12 months.
How about you? What's currently scaring you, but you're going ahead anyway?